Highlights and Headlines from “Democracy Now!” ...

* Today's Top DN! Stories (http://www.democracynow.org/):
- Up to 14 Palestinians Die During Israeli Raids
- U.S. Criticized Over Iraqi Civilian Deaths
- Veterans Returning From Iraq Complain About Hospital Conditions
- U.S. Claims Syrian Banks Hold $3B in Iraqi Funds
- Poll: U.S. Public Backs Universal Health Care
- William Rivers Pitt: Bush Administration Is a “Smash and Grab Robbery Writ Large”

* Bolivian President Steps Down, Flees to U.S. Amid Protests; V.P. Takes Over (http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/20/1440230)

* Senator Kennedy to Oppose $87B Blank Check (http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/17/1522215); while not mentioned on DN!, Dennis Kucinich is spearheading the effort to do the same in the House

* Retired AF Colonel: How Bush Used PsyOps, Propaganda, and Information Warfare to Market Invading Iraq (http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/17/1526207)

* PR Specialist Debunks Jessica Lynch Rescue and Other War-Marketing Stories (http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/17/1530239)

* Two Bolivians Die As Populace Rejects Government's Gas Export Deal (http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/16/1529249)

* Tariq Ali: The War in Iraq Has Galvanized and Grown Al Qaeda (http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/16/1534236)

The True Meaning of Compassionate Conservative, Part II

October 21, 2003. Last week, The Scallion published an article about the human failings—and crimes, in some cases—of prominent Republicans like George W. Bush, Bill Bennett, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Rush Limbaugh. In that article, The Scallion's editorial staff lamented that these men feel entitled to a brand of clemency they wouldn't be caught dead extending to a man like Bill Clinton, no matter how legal, consensual, and/or comparatively innocuous his offense(s).

Therefore, it is no surprise that right-wing adherents are adding their voices to the din of those pleading for leniency.

What may surprise some is that the plea is being raised not only by right-wingers but by liberals as well. Seeking to deserve the epithet, some liberals suggest that Limbaugh's fall from saintliness offers an excellent opportunity to teach the right a lesson in true compassion. Limbaugh's initial bumming of “extra” pills from his housekeeper's husband's prescription, while clearly illegal, can also be seen in light of a truly human and all-too-common problem faced by many pain sufferers who eventually succumb to addiction. While this grand notion fails to comprise the egregious criminality of Limbaugh's pill mooching—or further allegations of Limbaugh's recreational use or his indenturing his housekeeper into complicit servitude as his dealer—it does offer a framework within which to humanize how society deals or perhaps should deal with all kinds of addictions. And it encourages the public not to blame the Oxycontin medication itself.

So ... are these liberals who are urging us to take it easy on Rush being noble or nutty? Or would it be significantly easier to cut Limbaugh some slack if he were a more wise, egalitarian, gracious, and compassionate individual—is it inconceivable to give the man the steam off our sweat otherwise?

We leave it to our ever-intelligent Readers to decide.

Bush Proclaims a New Theme Week for U.S. to Celebrate

October 20, 2003. In an effort to preserve the sanctity of missionary-position, heterosexual, patriarchal marriage, George W. Bush announced the celebration of a new theme week in America.

Christened “Kick A Homo In The Nuts Week,” the celebration begins today and ends one week from today. “I only wish we could have 'Kick A Homo In The Nuts Week' all year long,” Bush growled, grinned, and drawled as he waved to supporters from behind a brace of stout, stalwart Secret Servicemen acting as human shields. “Hell, it's better than Christmas,” Bush enthused. “At Christmas, Laura just scratches behind my ears and throws me a chew toy ... oops, that's what she does for the First Dog ... can't remember what she does for me, but I know it must be good. But anyhoo, like I said, kicking nancy-boys in the jewels is great wahoo sport, just like shooting Iraqis in a barrel. And ya get to watch 'em double over ... and fall down on the ground, if ya kick 'em hard enough. And it ain't just nancy-boys—you can kick bull dikes in the balls, too. Hell, some o' them lesbos have more test ... test ... testy-steer-one he-man-male-hormone than me, the potent POTUS, and I have the guns and the tanks and the toy soldiers to prove it. And I know you know what I mean. Just look at Hillary Clinton—no wonder her trailer trash husband chases every skirt he sees. Yessiree, kicking homos in the nuts is a great way to suppress any suspicious softer emotions and prove that you're all man and that you're not afraid of nothin' except what you don't understand ... which is why I'm pretty much afraid of everything, including my own shadow, which keeps following me around uninvited, I know not why.

“But I digress.

“The bottom line is that, because, in my heart, I know that I am no different from them, I hate homos, along with all them other God-forsaken social misfits: women, Blacks, Spics, Orientals, Indians ... not to mention Catholics and them other heathen pagan unsaved Satan worshipers. And if I, George Duhbya Boosh, hate homos, lesbos, and all them Satan-loving sexually perverted sickos, then it's good enough for the rest of you stupider-than-me doofuses out there, and I expect—nay, demand—you do the same.

“Uh ... this was the part of the program where we were all supposed to line up and kick a real live homo in the nuts, but, for some reason, none of them were inspired enough by my majesty as POTUS to sign up to come and I don't know why. None of the male decorators from the cable TV shows or Christopher Lowell or Graham Norton or any of them came today, although Graham Norton signed up—maybe as a joke, because he never showed up, either. Humphh, they don't know the fun they're missing by not being here. Next time I see one o' them pansy traitors, I know what I'll do: I'll kick 'em in the nuts! Hmm, that gives me a good idea for a new theme week to celebrate so that Americans learn to cherish the safe but boring institution of good ol' fashioned man-in-charge marriage. Be right back—wait here 'til I go tell Laura and Dickie-boy about my fabulous new idea ...”