The Scallion is taking a hiatus!

Yes, as we of The Scallion do Spring cleaning on our priorities, our Editor in Chief has decided that finishing off that advanced degree demands higher priority right now than this esteemed webzine. However, we like to think we have provided our faithful Readers with a few important tools we can all use to fight for a free and fair America:

1. We have provided our Readers with a list of excellent resources with which to stay informed during this pivotal point in our nation's history.

2. We have demonstrated that it is indeed not only feasible but mandatory that we all speak the truth to power—each in his or her own individual way. We have faithfully run this column every week for over a year; we have participated in marches, rallies, and town meetings; we have written letters to the media; and we have written letters to our elected—and selected—officials. We have proven that none of these acts of dissent has affected us adversely: we have not lost our respective jobs (even those of us who work in defense); we have not been arrested; and we have not been detained in airports. We have proven that, despite John Ashcroft's best intentions, all the hype is just that—hype. Speak out! Vote! Encourage those around you to speak out and to vote! We want our country back; with courage, we can and should demand it.

We expect to resume publishing in about six months. Readers, we promise to keep you posted.

Meanwhile, while we're away, remember to check out this short list of fine sources for news stories almost surely absent from the nation's mainstream commercial media:

http://www.democracynow.org/
http://www.alternet.org/
http://www.truthout.org/
http://www.jimhightower.com/ and the weblog http://hightower.fmp.com/weblog.php
http://www.prwatch.org/ and its archives http://www.prwatch.org/prwissues/index.html
http://gregpalast.com/
http://www.commondreams.org

If you read no other news, be sure to scan the headlines at Democracy Now! It's the best way for Real Americans (affectionately known as Unamericans) to defend themselves against Bush's pathologically compulsive bait-and-switch, closed-door politics of extreme hubris that, unfortunately, continue to thrive in 2004.

For news with a giggle, try this “official” website: http://www.whitehouse.org/

And now, for one last headline until we come back online ...

Scott McClellan Replaced

February 18, 2004. In a stunning move earlier today, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan was replaced by a tape recorder. Speaking to a press conference, the tape recorder announced that it was stepping into Mr. McClellan's position as press secretary. It further stated that the White House has no comment regarding why Mr. McClellan stepped down—whether he was fired or whether he left the post of his own volition.

Members of the press corps responded favorably to McClellan's replacement. “Mr. - Radio Shack? - well, I didn't quite catch his name,” remarked National “Public” Radio's Maura Liason, “But I already like him better than Scott McClellan. I mean, not only is the new guy better looking, but he has so much more personality than his predecessor.” Veteran ABC news personality Ted Koppel agreed and added, “Yes, and he's so much more responsive to our questions, too.”

Interestingly, none of the commercial media attendees remarked on the fact that the new press secretary's “play,” “rewind,” and “stop” buttons were being activated by a voluptuous young blonde clad only in a tenuous bikini.

Democracy Now's Jeremy Scahill refused to sugar-coat his remarks on the change: “Well, this just proves beyond any shadow of a doubt that the White House has absolutely no intention of answering inconvenient, unscripted questions—as if any thinking American had ever had any doubt that the Bush administration is happiest dealing with denial and deception rather than giving Americans the accurate information they need to make informed decisions. This is yet another ironic twist on Bushco's bizarre brand of honesty ....”