Wednesday?!?? Where were we yesterday, our usual publication day? It turns out that A.J., The Scallion's sometimes roving reporter and always webmeister, was on a mission from God Tuesday; hence, the usual publication duties were neglected for a day. We ask our faithful Readers' indulgence for our brief lapse.

For more news you can use, remember to check out this short list of fine sources for news stories almost surely absent from the nation's mainstream commercial media:

http://www.democracynow.org/
http://www.alternet.org/
http://www.truthout.org/
http://www.jimhightower.com/ and the weblog http://hightower.fmp.com/weblog.php
http://www.prwatch.org/ and its archives http://www.prwatch.org/prwissues/index.html
http://gregpalast.com/
http://www.commondreams.org

If you read no other news this week, please scan the headlines at Democracy Now! It's the best way for Real Americans (affectionately known as Unamericans) to defend themselves against Bush's pathologically compulsive bait-and-switch, closed-door politics of extreme hubris that, unfortunately, continue to thrive in 2004.

For news with a giggle, try this “official” website: http://www.whitehouse.org/

While we're all busy crying in our beer over the reckless antics of America's chimp-in-chief, we of The Scallion wish to invite our Readers to participate in the first-ever Scallion Political Pool: name the month that Rove decides is optimal to “capture” Bush family friend Osama bin Laden. The truly clairvoyant among our Readers are invited to name not only the month but also the day that this campaign event will be announced to an eager American public. The prize? Why, a free subscription to The Scallion, of course! ;)

(Note to our illustrious bonehead, his benighted administration, neo-ultraconservative Republicans, rabid Catholics, sheep, or their sympathizers: this is a joke. The Scallion always has been and always will be a free publication designed to speak truth—or, at least, satire—to power. So, don't even think about turning us in to John Ashcroft for illegal web gambling unless your ultimate goal is to have a lot of people—even the humorless ones, like Ashcroft—laugh their butts off at you.)

And now, it's time for more submissions from Scallion Readers ...

As promised, this week’s first reader-submitted feature is a poem by M.T.:

Code Red

87 billion and you can’t even
turn on the lights in Iraq while at home
Fox news flashes nightly,
its soft blue tentacles massaging the message
into helmet tight heads, relax,
we’re back to code yellow. News of deficits
cushioned in the sugar crash of one
over sentimentalized capture of one over estimated
tyrant, while children play with dynamite
in the land of the shi’ite, soldiers conned
by patriotic unemployment
to do death’s calling,
the final tap on world resources,
while we junkie our SUV to the nearest pump
and suck
all the while sharing turkey with a man who thinks Mars
might be a good place
for golf.

Reader J.W. submitted this link to a story on George Soros, the wealthy but brave immigrant who has pledged to help bankroll the effort to evict Chimpco from its misconceived, coup-delivered seat behind the desk in the Oval Office:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uselections2004/story/0,13918,1134528,00.html

J.W. also submitted the following link, dubbing it “a meat-related recall”:

http://flash.bushrecall.org/

Reader B.H. submitted this link to small, real-time lie detectors with the comment, “... This is scary as hell. Talk about intrusive technology. However, I must admit my first thought was it would be great to have for W's State of the Vaterland speech. I bet someone runs his speech through it soon”:

http://www.eetimes.com/story/OEG20040116S0050

Additionally, we of The Scallion wonder when Chimpco will get around to chipping us all …

Reader D.O. submitted this link to a site that is chock-a-block full of everything you always wanted to know about Skull and Bones, the now not-so-secret Inner Party / Illuminati / Hegel-inspired rich-old-Yalie-boys’ club … complete with their controlled-chaos-based designs to bring about their own, self-serving, plutocratic, not-so-new “new world order”:

http://www.parascope.com/articles/0997/skullbones.htm

We of The Scallion just dare you to read the whole site!

Faithful Scallion Reader K.R. submitted this link to a “vomifacient” article:

http://home.hamptonroads.com/stories/story.cfm?story=65520&ran=236535

Not for the weak of heart—or faith!

Upon reading this article, Dr. Zoe Owens, Ph.D. philosopher and author of such introspectively religious books as “Jesus Holy Christ Almighty,” responded, “I don't think it was God that that Robertson guy was talking to because God personally told me that George DUHbaya is a smarmy, self-righteous, lying, greedy asshole who has done nothing to deserve the office he has stolen. God also told me that more than half of Americans want Bush out of the White House. Oh, and God is also pissed off at Pat Robertson's arrogant, self-righteous name-dropping.”

Editor's note: it remains to be seen whether the grassroots effort to oust Bush will overcome the big-money-driven vote-rigging that adulterated the 2000 election.

Reader S.C. is always ready with an interesting submission or three. Try this on for size:

Even if he does not win the nomination, Dennis has also pledged not to give up the fight to save America from the robber barons who own and operate it. For openers, he has vowed to take on the big boys with their big bankrolls. Dennis Kucinich was right: Saddam Hussein was not an imminent threat to the United States! Imagine if the rest of the Democrats in Congress had had the guts to stand with Dennis instead of caving in upon their own spinelessness! Iraq might have been a very different place today; many lives could have been saved; and the now-spiraling deficit could have been significantly reined in. Dennis has pledged to expose the whole dirty affair of how America was frightened, wheedled, cudgeled, and manipulated into the illegitimate, oil-greed-driven invasion of Iraq. Here is Dennis’s full report, much of which he will be sharing in upcoming press conferences:

http://www.kucinich.us/DennisKucinichWasRight.pdf

According to one of Dennis’s campaign coordinators, “Once this story makes national news, Bush will have to come out denouncing Dennis, and that will propel Dennis into the spotlight as the one taking on the Republican juggernaut.” We of The Scallion love Dennis’s moxie: while most Democratic hopefuls thank their lucky stars each time they duck under the Roving radar, Dennis is right out there, fearlessly daring Chimpco to “bring it on.” Howzabout them cojones?

S.C. also submitted this article about Bush’s appointment of the assiduously misogynistic David Hager to the FDA:

President Bush has announced his plan to select Dr. W. David Hager to head up the Food and Drug Administration's (FDA) Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee. The committee has not met for more than two years, during which time its charter lapsed. As a result, the Bush Administration is tasked with filling all eleven positions with new members. This position does not require Congressional approval.

The FDA's Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee makes crucial decisions on matters relating to drugs used in the practice of obstetrics, gynecology and related specialties, including hormone therapy, contraception, treatment for infertility, and medical alternatives to surgical procedures for sterilization and pregnancy termination.

Dr. Hager's views of reproductive health care are far outside the mainstream for reproductive technology. Dr. Hager is a practicing OB/GYN who describes himself as "pro-life" and refuses to prescribe contraceptives to unmarried women. Hager is the author of "As Jesus Cared for Women: Restoring Women Then and Now." The book blends biblical accounts of Christ healing women with case studies from Hager's practice.

In the book Dr. Hager wrote with his wife, entitled "Stress and the Woman's Body," he suggests that women who suffer from premenstrual syndrome should seek help from reading the bible and praying. As an editor and contributing author of "The Reproduction Revolution: A Christian Appraisal of Sexuality Reproductive Technologies and the Family," Dr. Hager appears to have endorsed the medically inaccurate assertion that the common birth control pill is an abortifacient.

Hager's mission is religiously motivated. He has an ardent interest in revoking approval for mifepristone (formerly known as RU-486) as a safe and early form of medical abortion. Hagar recently assisted the Christian Medical Association in a "citizen's petition" which calls upon the FDA to revoke its approval of mifepristone in the name of women's health.

Hager's desire to overturn mifepristone's approval on religious grounds rather than scientific merit would halt the development of mifepristone as a treatment for numerous medical conditions disproportionately affecting women, including breast cancer, uterine cancer, uterine fibroid tumors, psychotic depression, bipolar disorder, and Cushing's syndrome.

Women rely on the FDA to ensure their access to safe and effective drugs for reproductive health care including products that prevent pregnancy. For some women, such as those with certain types of diabetes and those undergoing treatment for cancer, pregnancy can be a life-threatening condition. We are concerned that Dr. Hager's strong religious beliefs may color his assessment of technologies that are necessary to protect women's lives or to preserve and promote women's health.

Hager's track record of using religious beliefs to guide his medical decision-making makes him a dangerous and inappropriate candidate to serve as chair of this committee. Critical drug public policy and research must not be held hostage by antiabortion politics. Members of this important panel should be appointed on the basis of science and medicine, rather than politics and religion. American women deserve no less.

NOTE: we of The Scallion would like to point out that not only is oral contraceptive therapy not an abortifacient, but neither is mifepristone.