The Scallion

Disclaimer: this online political & social satire webzine is not suitable for the decerebrate (translation: our illustrious bonehead, his benighted administration, neo-ultraconservative Republicans, rabid Catholics, sheep, or their sympathizers) or for readers under age 18. As satirists, we take no responsibility if what we say is dangerously close to the truth. If you're under 18, stop reading this NOW & go turn yourself in to your Mommy for a well-deserved spanking, you no-good little whelp.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Although we of The Scallion are still officially on hiatus, we apparently still feel compelled to continue throwing in our two cents!

Before we get down to business, here’s our notable quotable for the day:

Those that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Benjamin Franklin

From the "so much outrage, so little time" department, The Scallion would like to present three recent political letters and a handful of URLs for the information of our faithful Readers. But first, a headline we’d abhor but realistically expect to see from the “it could happen … it really could happen” department:

Bush preemptively pardons DeLay, Frist, Blount, the rest of the Congressional Republicans, his junta, and himself for repeated, egregious violations of ethics and morals

We of The Scallion highly recommend that all thoughtful Americans read the following articles:

An excerpt from Mark Ames's recently released book, "Going Postal: Rage, Murder, and Rebellion -- From Reagan's Workplaces to Clinton's Columbine and Beyond" (Soft Skull, 2005), this article discusses the toxic culture that facilitated the shootings at Columbine High School:
http://www.alternet.org/story/24801/

An AlterNet interview with Mark Ames that includes theories surrounding going postal:
http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/24796/

The right wing’s spin-meistering re the oil-for-food “scandal” … What could you buy with the proceeds of what the right calls “the biggest corruption scandal in recorded history”? (Hint: not a Ferrari.)
http://www.alternet.org/waroniraq/26055/

Miers Briefed Bush on Bin Laden PDB, But Papers Handle Photo From That Day Quite Differently:
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/
article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1001221205

(If you really want to vomit, The Scallion would like to remind our Readers that Harriet Miers has publicly stated that she admires George W. Bush as “the smartest man she knows” … gee, we wonder what hospital was giving out the free lobotomies she apparently received! Some examples of reckless stupidity are simply not to be believed …)

A Buzzflash book review of “Unfit Commander: Texans for Truth Take On George W. Bush” by Glenn W. Smith:
http://www.buzzflash.com/reviews/05/10/rev05098.html

Lastly, we recommend this disturbing article (which appears below in its entirety for those who do not yet subscribe). The link appears below the article itself for those who wish to subscribe.

"Student Brutalized by Cops, Right-Wing Students, for Protesting Recruiters At George Mason University" By M. Junaid Alam

A Pakistani-American who served four years in the United States Air Force as munitions personnel was beaten and brutalized by right-wing students and campus police last Thursday at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia.

Tariq Khan, now a junior majoring in sociology, said he was standing in front of the recruitment table outside the school student center - as he has often done before - during noontime with a paper sign reading, "Recruiters lie, don't be deceived," taped to his shirt. A student approached Khan and initiated a verbal argument, screaming in his face; he then took the flyer and ripped it up in front of him, Khan says.

The student then left and returned with another student claiming to be a Marine having recently served in Iraq, and the three continued a verbal argument that began to escalate, Khan claimed. "I asked the marine, 'So how many people did you kill?'" Khan said. "And he answered, 'Not enough.'" The marine student soon ripped Khan's sign off his shirt and threw it in the trash.

Shortly thereafter, two of Khan's friends came to his defense, and a college staff member told Khan he had to leave because he had no permit to table in the area. "I didn't even have a table to begin with, so I didn't see why I needed a permit for one," Khan said. "Besides, to have a table, you need to be a campus group, and we didn't have one," he added, pointing out that the student council denied an anti-war group's right to exist on campus earlier because it contained several anarchists.

The staff member called campus security, at which point a police officer, Lt. Reynolds, approached Khan and demanded to see his student ID. Khan said he told the officer he was not carrying his ID and tried to walk away when the policeman tried to arrest him and then became violent. "He threw me into the stage," Khan claimed, referring to a dance area in the student center left from an event earlier in the day, "and I just sort of raised my hands to show I'm not violent and tried to get as much attention by saying, 'I'm being non-violent and I'm being brutalized.'"

Fellow student and friend Amie Wells confirmed Khan's account, saying the officer "grabbed him, put him in a half-nelson headlock," and then "slammed him into a metal stage," propped three feet above the floor. Wells added that the officer then slammed Khan into the ground hard, resulting in his face hitting the surface.

Describing the atmosphere, Wells said a number of right-wing students were cheering on police officers who were attacking Khan, exclaiming, "Kick him!" She claimed most of the crowd appeared to be on the side of the police. "It was disgusting," she said. Another student who witnessed events, David Curtis, said some students initially implored the police to let Khan go, but others soon arrived to support the police, chanting "Kick his ass!"

According to Khan, Wells, and Curtis, one of the right-wing students who had earlier harassed Khan joined the cops in forcing him on the ground. Curtis asked the student what authority he was exercising, and the student backed off.

However, Curtis says, a university employee who stood about six feet eight inches and weighed around 300 pounds began helping the cops to further subdue Khan. "He performed jujitsu moves on me while the cops held me down, and the cops let him do it," Khan said.

"Frankly, the cops were doing just fine without him, but this huge guy came and put [Khan's] free arm in a Kamora," Curtis said, referring to a jujitsu maneuver in which the arm is painfully bent backwards. "You could see on his face that it was really hurting him," Curtis said of Khan.

A police officer claimed the university employee was an "auxiliary police officer," but Wells, who works with the man in the computer store, said she had never seen him in that capacity.

Khan said he was then dragged off by two officers toward a police car but was reluctant to get in. He says one cop was preparing to spray him with mace. "He held the can straight at my eyes, about five inches away from my face," Khan said. "So I started yelling, 'Hey, this cop is trying to mace me, someone take a picture if you have a camera!"

Wells quickly took out her cell-phone camera and began snapping pictures. "After I did that, the cop put away his mace can and said, 'Okay, no one's going to get maced today.' I mean, clearly, he knew he was doing something wrong," she said.

Khan says Officer Reynolds told him he had to arrest him because, "What with 9/11 and everything else, we didn't know what you would do." Khan also says another policeman told him that "You people are the most violent people in the world." Before being hauled off to the Fairfax County Jail, Khan was warned by the police who were questioning him that "If you even look at [cops] the wrong way, they'll hang you up by your feet."

Officer Reynolds asked the handcuffed student if he needed medical attention or desired an attorney, Khan claims, but says he was granted neither medical attention nor an attorney after expressly asking for both.

Released after two hours, Khan was charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing on campus - even though Khan is a student and police found his ID when they searched him. The student protester says he is planning to sue the school, the police, and the right-wing students who attacked him. "I went with my wife and my mother-in law to file a complaint at the police office right afterwards, and had pictures taken of all my cuts and bruises," he says.

In response to the incident, the university issued a statement to Khan recognizing that he was staging a peaceful protest and insisting it was committed to students' rights to free speech on campus; it also said it will conduct an internal investigation into the conduct of the police officers and the other students who were involved in Thursday's events.

Khan, however, is not impressed. "They haven't even contacted me yet," he said. "I'll believe them when I see results."

Asked what motivated him to begin his protest against military recruiters on a campus where there is no organized anti-war movement, the former Air Force enlistee said, "For four years, I was making bombs. Then I started wondering where those bombs were actually going."

After reading and learning about the bombing of Kosovo and ongoing destruction of civilian facilities in Iraq, he came to his conclusion: "I asked the questions and I wasn't happy with the answers. We were bombing civilian plants."

Speaking at a rally held on October 3 that was attended by 150 to 200 supporters at the university, Khan sounded a defiant note: "I will not be bullied or intimidated into silence.The university authority's actions against me last Thursday were their way of telling me to shut up. And my answer to them is, no, I will not shut up...The power-mongers in this country are using 9/11 and terrorism as an excuse to trample all over our individual rights. A friend of mine recently said, 'When we've traded in all our freedom for security, we'll find that the only thing we've secured is our own incarceration.'"

******

M. Junaid Alam, 22, is co-editor of Left Hook and a Journalism student at
Northeastern University.
http://www.altpr.org/modules.php?op=modload&name=
News&file=article&sid=497&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0

Southwest Airlines
Customer Relations
P.O. Box 36647 - 1CR
Dallas, Texas 75235-1647

How ridiculous can you people be?

I mean, I realize that we live in a fascist state. I realize that third-world voters have freer and fairer elections than we do. And I realize that our once-great nation is quickly devolving into a theocratic dictatorship, but come on! Since when did George W. Bush become so almighty sacred that it becomes more important to Southwest Airlines to worship him rather than to honor the basic right of freedom of speech guaranteed by the Bill of Rights to the United States Constitution?

I hope I don’t need to spell out why I am so outraged by Southwest Airlines; it’s all here in black and white: “Southwest boots woman for shirt: Lorrie Heasley to sue for being asked to leave a flight due to profane, politically charged shirt.”
http://money.cnn.com/2005/10/06/news/fortune500/
southwest_shirt/index.htm?cnn=yes

The article states that “[T]he airline felt that the T-shirt was offensive and that other passengers would be outraged by it, the spokeswoman said, adding that the incident is about ‘decency.’”

How nice: the airline “felt.” What measures did the airline actually take to find outto make certain? Excuse me, but just how many passengers did Southwest actually survey to find out who would be offended? Isn’t it equally likely that, given George W. Bush’s abysmal approval ratings, more passengers than not would likely have applauded Ms. Heasley’s taste in political tee shirts? Similarly, since when did the word “focker” become obscene, or is that merely a convenient determination Southwest made in order to harass a passenger who arguably feels that people just might matter more than corporations’ money? Doesn’t Southwest actually show “Meet the Fockers” among its in-flight entertainment selections? Just whom are you trying to fool?

I can tell you the problem here, and it’s not Ms. Heasley or her clearly non-obscene anti-Bush-administration tee shirt. It’s Southwest Airlines and all the other fascist corporations who are breaking every rule in the book in order to destroy the dissent and democracy that makes America great. It’s the new world order of corporations sucking up to fascists like Bush with lavish campaign contributions, and Bush’s doling out millions and billions of dollars per thousand to the corporations that invest in him, that is destroying our nation by leaps and bounds.

While none of this is surprising any longer, it makes me sad for Southwest Airlines. I remember Southwest in its infancy: a saucy upstart that was ready to challenge the big guys on their own turf. As a professional who frequently travels by air for business and pleasure, I used to make a point of booking my flights on Southwest because I enjoyed the convenience and service. Thanks, however, to your “seig heil” attitude regarding anyone who dares criticize your holy fascist lord and master, George W. Bush, I can safely promise never to fly Southwest again. I would rather walk to my destination than to give you evil anti-American, theocratic, fascist, imperialist bastards another penny of my hard-earned money.

Gee, I hope you didn’t find that last statement as offensive as I found your actions re Ms. Heasley.

Have a nice day.

Feel free to reply if you have the cojones. I won’t hold my breath.

Americans have seen irrefutable proof: who is elected truly is a matter of life and death. Dramatic natural disasters like hurricane Katrina and chronic every-day disasters like poverty and hunger affect all Americans, not only poor people, Black people, women, and other vulnerable minorities despised by the Bush administration and the Republican party. Like it or not, not even the rich and powerful can hide from natural disasters, acts of terrorism, and global warming. Not even money is thick enough to insulate America's ruling corporate elite from disease, death, ill-will, and violence resulting from grossly irresponsible policies and negligence of America's rule of law.

Therefore, I ask you please to support The Voter Confidence and Increased Accessibility Act (H.R. 550). We the people must be able to see proof of our votes; we must be able to verify that they are accurately counted.

Bush's introduction of Harriet Miers reminded us of the person whose job it is to make everything on the menu sound delicious, even if the waitress herself wouldn't eat it. But Harry Reid couldn't wait to stuff this road apple in his mouth, along with his own foot, despite the alarming reality that the nomination of Harriet Miers does not even deserve serious consideration. She has NO qualifications to be a Supreme Court justice except the one and only thing that George W. Bush ever cared about: personal loyalty. And everybody knows it. On that basis, Miers must be rejected out of hand, no hearing required, end of story, PERIOD. The Washington Post story headline says it all: "A Deep Dedication to the President."

Although Republicans would rubber-stamp a ham sandwich if Bush handed them one, this one may just give them heartburn. Even the conservative pundits are howling about it. So where are the Democrats? When they caved on the original filibuster confrontation and agreed to be fitted for a custom one-party-only straight jacket, Harry Reid was cheerleadering in the background. Thus, Dems waved through some of the most objectionable nominees ever put forward as federal judges. Now we’re stuck with two stealth LIFETIME REACTIONARY CRONIES on the Supreme Court.

There should never have even BEEN a hearing on Roberts. The Democrats should have demanded the documents necessary to properly examine Roberts as a PRECONDITION of the examination itself and filibustered until they got them. The fruits of the Dems’ insane cowardice: yet another nominee for whom the administration will stonewall a mile high to conceal the fascist values from the American public until it is too late. When Roberts was in his hearing, he boasted of being the moot court master who could take either side of an argument and make it sound reasonable. Gee, how useful. With one more vote, there will be nobody to stop him. Miers will be nothing more than a sycophant, a "me too" judge. Just like Thomas, who never has an intelligent question to ask, and probably has never had an original thought not cribbed to him by Scalia or Rehnquist, "Justice" Miers will have Roberts coaching and ghostwriting all her opinions for her. Roberts has established the "take the fifth on the issues" model already. With Miers, it will be déjà vu all over again.

Doubtless, the captain of the Titanic thought he knew what he was doing. Surely, Neville Chamberlain believed that he could rely on the personal assurances of Adolph Hitler and was just "picking his battles." Reid has done nothing but cave in on issue after issue. Even in rejecting Bolton for stonewalling of documents (and the universe forbid they should have rejected Roberts on those SAME grounds), Reid practically prostrated himself on the Senate floor apologizing for taking a stand, promising to cave again at the next opportunity.

This is potentially the third and final strike on separation of powers and our whole form of government, including all checks and balances. America is on the brink of kissing all of our hard won rights goodbye forever: privacy, minority and women's rights, labor standards, environmental protection, limitations on corporate and government power. One more partisan vote will seal the domination of their crony elite and to doom the rest of us all. It really makes me wonder where the Democrats have been while they're supposed to be opposing all of the Republican scam, scandal, corruption, cronyism, graft, and disregard for the rule of law.

Why does Bush treat secrecy as such an important part of “good” decision making? When has Bush ever made a good decision as president even one time? From the original willful ignorance of the terrorist threat which made the 9/11 attacks such a cake walk, to the mishandling of the Afghan dragnet around Bin Laden, to the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq which has destroyed the stability of the whole oil market, to wrecking our budget to finance tax cuts for the most wealthy, to the criminal incompetence first in cutting levee repair appropriations and then in getting relief to the victims of Katrina, this administration has an immaculate record of NEVER coming up with the right answer.

Bush hasn't spent one nanosecond of his residency thinking about helping the American people. He has missed no opportunity to harm our country and its interests, instead favoring a handful of crony corporations who engineered his fraudulent election via theft and corruption of votes in multiple states. Bush’s only criterion for selecting appointees is installing cronies who will save his hide when the day of reckoning comes for his own malfeasance and extend his corruption for decades to come.

It's time for the Republicans to get something right for a change. ANY new Supreme Court nominee must be a true MODERATE, representing ALL the American people, not just the fascist fringe.