The Scallion

Disclaimer: this online political & social satire webzine is not suitable for the decerebrate (translation: our illustrious bonehead, his benighted administration, neo-ultraconservative Republicans, rabid Catholics, sheep, or their sympathizers) or for readers under age 18. As satirists, we take no responsibility if what we say is dangerously close to the truth. If you're under 18, stop reading this NOW & go turn yourself in to your Mommy for a well-deserved spanking, you no-good little whelp.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Remember to check out www.alternet.org and www.democracynow.org for news you can use!

And now, for today's top stories ...

Hackers Commandeer Media Content; Murdoch, GOP in Total Uproar

November 16, 2003. In a stunning turn of events late last week—from which the mainstream media are still reeling—it has been discovered that persons and parties unknown have for several days willfully hijacked the content of commercial corporate and, in some cases, public newspapers and radio and television programs, substituting their own information. What made the hack attack so insidious is the quality of the substitutions: in many cases, it took days for the media outlets themselves to discover the ruse. In fact, the American pubic remained largely unaware of the swap until yesterday and earlier today.

Content supplied by the hackers includes accurate accounts of of many questionable situations and events that have slipped through the cracks of the nation's news: the neoconservative Republicans' true motives for invading Iraq and goals for neo-imperialism as outlined in the Project for a New American Century [1], the 2000 presidential election results [2], the true relationship between the Bush and bin Laden families [2], what really happened on 9/11 [3] (including how some two dozen bin Laden family members were rounded up and evacuated—at American taxpayer expense [6]—to safety out of the United States after all other U.S. planes had been grounded), how and why Arnold Schwarzenegger really came to be governor of California [4], the effects of the removal of the media fairness doctrine that insisted on presenting both viewpoints in any argument [5], how much the Bush regime will cost average Americans in real dollars [6], “dead peasant” taxes and other ways that corporations exploit workers [6], the neoconservative push to privatize New Deal social programs and institutions (including health care and education)—pricing these critical services right out of most citizens' reach—at home [7] as they currently are in Iraq [8], and other stories affecting average, working Americans—stories of which average citizens are typically unaware by careful design of the Powers that Be.

Terrified of the truth—and equally terrified of the threat of losing the totalitarian control they now enjoy—neoconservative cheerleaders like Limbaugh are shaking their collective fist that representatives like New York's Maurice Hinchey are fighting to return some semblance of media control back to the public. In 1987, President Reagan repealed the fairness doctrine, which was a television and radio equivalent of the political equal time rule. Clinton's rollback of radio ownership limitations, coupled with the ability to present unrefuted viewpoints at will, has tacitly encouraged neoconservative corporate media conglomerates to form and subsequently bankroll the Rush Limbaughs, Sean Hannitys, and other neocon mouthpieces, who now thrive and flourish unchallenged in their quest to bombard the American public with their pro-extreme-right-wing, anti-populist, anti-progressive chorus—regardless of low popularity, poor ratings, and other considerations less worthy of Rupert Murdoch's attention than promulgating neoconservative propaganda. While the Limbaughs of the world swear that the issues drive this phenomenon—that there are countless ultraconservative “talk shows” on radio and television but nary a single liberal or progressive competitor—the unadorned truth is that it's not about the issues at all. Rather, it's all about the money: money that wealthy corporations can't afford not to pour into propagandizing their message in a continuing attempt to quell discontent among the workers and harass or scold them into agreeing with what these self-styled authorities claim is best for them. Perhaps this explains why mouthpieces like Limbaugh and Hannity and their gods reigning in the benighted Bush administration are so defensive—and so angry—all the time. In “Dude, Where's My Country?” Michael Moore says it best: if progressives had won control of all three branches of the federal government and many state governments, they would be happy, smiling, and celebrating. Why? Because most Americans are, in fact, socially liberal. Most Americans want not only the New Deal safety net they have come to know and love but also the universal health care, public education, environmental protection/conservation, women's rights, affirmative action, separatin of church and state, and other American institutions now under attack by the extreme right wing. Thus, as Moore explains it, the neocons are angry and defensive because they know they're in the minority; they know their reign is not legitimate, that they're presiding on borrowed time; and they know that the people are more than sufficiently capable of organizing and toppling them from power just as soon as they set their minds to it. This view is widely shared by many anti-Republicans, including Al Franken [9] and Jim Hightower [7].

When asked about the media hack attack and its effects, Dr. Zoe Owens, Ph.D. philosopher and author of such introspectively religious books as “Jesus Holy Christ Almighty,” responded: “Well, while I can't condone the illegality of the methods, I heartily applaud the results. American media used to function as the public's watchdog; since the media now almost exclusively serve their corporate overlords—except for the occasional liberal story that sneaks through, perhaps to lend legitimacy to the myth of the so-called liberal media—there has been no way to hold the government accountable to the people it is supposed to serve. And that absolutely has to change if the American democracy is to survive. What has happened here is that the hackers have decisively hijacked the media into performing its duly deputized function, like it or not. Heaven knows it's about time America heard the truth about what has been happening to it. Maybe this victory in informing the common American will spur ordinary folks into asking a few more tough questions of their so-called representatives in government, both those who were fairly elected and those bought or extorted their way into power, like Bush. Maybe people will learn to demand the truth from their media—and boycott not only the offending media but also their advertisers if the media fail to comply responsibly. The only way Americans can stop the train-wreck that is Bush and his corrupt corporate cronies is to organize and put their collective foot down—all as one. Speaking as a once-proud American, I'd express it this way: 'No one will rescue us, so it's up to us to rescue ourselves. There are literally millions more of us than there are of them. Their money-making ventures will grind to a halt—they can't continue to make their millions and billions—without our help or, worse, if we allow it, our complicity. They can and will try to stop us to some degree, but it's like trying to force an army of ants back into the anthill: they may get some of us, but they'll never get us all.'”

[1] http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article1665.htm
[2] http://www.gregpalast.com/contents.htm
[3] http://www.physics911.org/
[4] http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/06/160254&mode=thread&tid=30
[5] http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2003/9/15/232734.shtml
[6] Moore, M. “Dude, Where's My Country?”
[7] Among others, Hightower, J. “Thieves in High Places: They've Stolen Our Country and It's Time To Take It Back”
[8] Among others, http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=03/11/10/159203&mode=thread&tid=25 – previous articles can be found by entering “privatization iraq” into the archive search engine
[9] Franken, A. “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: a Fair and Balanced Look at the Right”